Thank you for sharing that Anonymous, I think it'll help Vee to understand the concept. And it's also a good lead in to a point I'd like to make about it. And that point is - this works both ways.
That feeling of "pressure" you're referring too is the SAME EXACT FEELING that a man can get when a woman is SHARING TOO MUCH with him. Sharing too much of what she's thinking, too much of what she wants, too much of what she expects, too much of what she's feeling.
When you dump that into a man's lap, they feel pressured because it gives them the impression that ALL OF YOUR HAPPINESS RESTS ON THEIR SHOULDERS. And it creates a very uncomfortable feeling in men, the thought that every single little thing they do is somehow going to relate to your level of happiness because you've given them the impression that THEY are included in everything that makes you happy.
Gemini50, an active community member here, has made this observation previously. To give a man the impression that your happiness rests squarely on every little move he makes - is NOT a good thing, nor does it create positive feelings about the future of where his further efforts will lead - because suddenly, everything is dependent on HIM.
So as you can see in what Anonymous shared above, this guy is sharing too much and he's not taking what SHE wants into consideration, he's leading with what makes HIM happy - thus placing all of his happiness square on her shoulders without considering what makes HER happy into the equation.
Basically, as she picked up on, it's giving her the impression that ANY WOMAN WILL DO. And when women do that to men, it gives them the same exact impression. It doesn't make them feel special, it makes them feel like, "Well she clearly wants a man in her life and not a special man, just any man will do."
It's like there's an open position that needs filled, a void, and anyone willing to fill it will do.
This man's saying to her, "Hey, I have an open position right now for companionship and it needs filled. I don't care about what you want or about what you need, I just need this position filled. So whadaya' say, wanna' fill this open position? Wanna' slip into that slot and fulfill MY needs for me?"
And it's the same exact feeling that "dumping" too many emotions and expectations into a man's lap all the time can create as well.
Another point I’d like to make for people worried about a link between high testosterone and prostate cancer is that it just doesn’t make sense. Prostate cancer becomes more prevalent in men as they age, and that’s also when their testosterone levels decline. We almost never see it in men in their peak testosterone years, in their 20s for instance. We know from autopsy studies that 8% of men in their 20s already have tiny prostate cancers, so if testosterone really made prostate cancer grow so rapidly — we used to talk about it like it was pouring gasoline on a fire — we should see some appreciable rate of prostate cancer in men in their 20s. We don’t. So, I’m no longer worried that giving testosterone to men will make their hidden cancer grow, because I’m convinced that it doesn’t happen.
Ok I do not have low testosterone; but I can increase it my doing lots of squats before I take the blood test at the doctor. Example one time I did squats and different variations for one hour before the blood test and my testosterone shot up to 750. But lately I do even more vigorous upper body exercises to the extreme and that is when the prostate appears to swell. Doctors appointment is first part of November. Before he mentioned hollowing out prostate with laser while asleep so my enlarged prostate does not interfere with my bladder. I find when I eat meat it swells. Vegetables likes onions , garlic and other low carb stuff is my friend but not the all American diet of meat and potatoes. Forget it. Thanks.